F'n COWS

[Thor]

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk at gunpoint.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

TOTALITARIANISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, denies they ever existed, and bans milk.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

DEMOCRATIC PARTYISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your poor neighbor.
You petition the government to help you meet your expenses.

REPUBLICAN PARTYISM
You have 2 cows.
Your poor neighbor has none.
Who gives a fuck?

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

WALL STREET (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the
six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all
seven cows back to your listed company for a substantial profit. The annual
report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell two cows to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nineteen cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The media and the public buys your bull, and for a small down-payment, the Supreme Court supports your efforts to create cows.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking
sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese
unit and packing sheds. You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation, and shut down Google.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the SHIT out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, and now have no economy, a destroyed infrastructure, and suffer from daily terrorism, but YAY -- you are a Democracy!

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks rather attractive………

A MEXICAN CORPORATION
You think you have two cows, but you don’t know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

A VENEZUELAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a
man in Cuba who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You drink some vodka and count them again. You have five cows.

[thegooze]

OK Jerk! This Mexican corporation knows what a cow looks like. Perhaps you should stop milking the bull. lol!

[OverHillandDale(Admin)]

Aural Moonism
You have two cows.
One on the cover of Atom Heart Mother,
The other on the cover of Lather.
You request a song by Henry Cow.

[Thor]

Brilliant Dale LMAO